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Dude Watches – The Young Pope – S1E01 & S1E02

by Cord Culver on January 18, 2017

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Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen!

After a short break, Dude Watches is back with HBO’s The Young Pope, starring Jude Law, Diane Keaton, James Cromwell, Silvio Orlando, Yung Jeezy, Yung Money, Yung Ma, Sum Yung Gai, Angus Young and Mighty Joe Young. It’s a pretty impressive ensemble cast.

So, here’s the deal, yeah, we talked about The Young Pope, and we all agree that there are really strong moments of dialogue, writing, imagery, etc. but when put together, don’t add up to something that makes much sense to us. To give you an idea, we were all very excited by the first episode and scored it between a 7 and an 8, however, by the second, all of that promise had been wiped away by Voiello’s mole like a chocolate muffin sucks up spilled juice and we scored it between a 4 and a 5. The point is: we were stoked, now we’re not. So what did we do? We talked about:

  • A badass second grader who stabbed himself with an epipen so he could eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
  • Jessica Jones
  • Luke Cage
  • David Tennant
  • Hollywood Squares
  • Whoopie Goldberg
  • Shadoe Stevens
  • Woodstock (the bird, not the concert)
  • AMC’s Turn
  • Dead Bart Simpson

Here’s the honest truth: we’re going to try to watch this show and do a podcast about it, but, if the show doesn’t drive conversation, we’re just gonna talk about other stuff, so tune in, because you just don’t know what you’re going to hear.

Review us on iTunes. Leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, here. Finally, hit us up if you have a television series or a movie (or maybe a genre of something) that we should check out.

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

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Dude Watches – Westworld (1973)

by Will Dutcher on December 14, 2016

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Okay, here’s the story. I have got to write this trashcan of a movie up for the post, and I’m not incredibly happy about it. It’s not the fact that I’m having to write this up, it’s that it’s about this movie. This–Westworld–was a terrible movie that no one should ever have to endure. It literally changed what I thought about Michael Crichton, who directed this movie.

Firstly, the movie can’t decide what it wants to be called. Is it “Westworld” or “Westernworld”? Why are there so many scenes at other parks that Delos owns? Why is it pronounced “day-LOHS” instead of “del-OHS”? Why is the acting so incompetent? There are many things to pick on about this movie. Those are just the ones I immediately thought of.

Want more? Here’s more: Why do the scientists die? Why is Yul Brynner in this movie? Why is Richard Benjamin the top-billed actor after Yul Brynner? Why would Peter give the robot water when she clearly indicated not to do so? Why are the ‘sex scenes’ so incredibly muted, poorly shot, poorly acted, and unbearably awkward?

Next, we come to questions such as: How did Peter know where the manhole cover was? Why were the fight scenes completely not choreographed? Why did the blood look like discount paint? Why are the three parks so close together? Why did there have to be a surplus of time dedicated to ‘geek chatter’ with the engineers (scientists? statisticians? cleaner crew?) on the mics? Why didn’t the robots recognize tire tracks when that giant fucking truck picked up the dead bodies? Why weren’t any of the park guests awake at night to witness bodies being picked up? Why did Cord give this movie a 6/10? Why did this movie ever get made?

You don’t get the answer to any of the questions, above.

Fuck this movie. I hated it. I hate that it has garnered more attention than our podcast. I hate knowing that Hollywood was pitched the idea and it was green-lit–with NO PLOT TO SPEAK OF!!! It’s an incredibly piss-poor movie with no redeeming value to me, personally, and while I understand there are real people who put real work into making this trash, I don’t feel bad for not liking it. Not everyone should get a participation award. Trash should be called as such. This was trash.

See you all in a few weeks when we pick up with Jude Law in HBO’s “The Young Pope,” debuting January 15, 2017!

Review us on iTunes. Leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, here. Finally, hit us up if you have a television series or a movie (or maybe a genre of something) that we should check out.

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

 

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E10

by Cord Culver on December 7, 2016

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SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Boy, oh, boy, here it is: Westworld season 1 finale… and boy is it a doozy (depending on who you ask). We’ll cut straight to it– Will and Caleb were all about this episode and the series, where as, in a strange turn of events, Cord, not so much. If you’ll recall, early on Will wasn’t really on board, but Cord was sold… welp, now, it’s the opposite: Billy D loved it and Cord could go without. You’ll have to listen in and join the conversation on our Facebook page and Twitter.

So, here is the gist: if you predicted it, it probably came true.

Dolores was both Wyatt and the executor of Arnold’s “Death-by-Host” plan, also, Ford’s executor of the “Death-by-Host-and-Rise-Against-the-Humans” plan. She and Teddy finally find the sea, but Dolores dies and it’s all a sham. A finale within a finale if you will. How very Inception-y of you, Jonathon Nolan. Dolores also reaches the center of the maze in that she realizes the voice in her head was her’s all along.

Now to the Man in Black… a couple things: first, he own 51% of the park making him the the controlling interest. Second, William and the Man in Black are the same person, but duh, you knew that already, and finally, he got shot but the robot uprising. Did I fail to mention there was a robot uprising? There’s a robot uprising. Anyhow, moving on, MIB or William or The Fresh Prince as he will be dubbed from here on out gets shot and we have NO idea what that means for season two.

Maeve… Maevemaevemaeve. Maeve either achieved sentience and chose NOT to escape to be reunited with her fake daughter OR she tried to escape but programming made her choose to reunite with her fake daughter and she got off the train and never escaped.

Sylvester gets shanked. That’s important to know.

In Ford’s final act he realizes that he was wrong to deny sentience and only wanted to give the Hosts a little more time to learn how to be more human and how to rise against them, and so, he has Dolores kill him in front of the park’s Board of Directors and thus begins the aforementioned robot uprising.

Still no Elsie or Stubbs and we don’t know if Abernathy actually did make it out of the park.

That’s it for season 1, folks. If you loved it, let us know and if you hated it let us know.

Review us on iTunes. Leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, here. Finally, hit us up if you have a television series or a movie (or maybe a genre of something) that we should check out.

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E09

by Will Dutcher on November 30, 2016

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We have reached the penultimate episode of the first season of Westworld and…guys! This episode! Holy shit! We get some confirmation on some long held theories regarding Bernard and Arnold (i.e. they are one in the same). We’ve been dealt some heavy-handed allusions as to the ultimate outcome with Dolores and the Man in Black. Will we learn that the Man in Black is William? Is HBO going to throw us for a loop and tell us he’s Logan? Will William kill Logan, or vice versa? Was the “incident” the show spoke of early this season the recounting of what Dolores told Arnold, so many years ago? Will Stubbs’s quest for information end in tragedy? Where is Elsie’s body? So many questions!

I (Caleb) had some afterthoughts following the recording the episode. Below is an edited transcription of an email I sent to Cord and Will. Take a look. Also, send us your thoughts and theories on what’s going to happen! Let’s get a dialog going!

Maeve is the center of the maze. In fact, her name even sounds like maze. She was at the literal center of the maze in the corn field (maize) when the Man in Black (MiB) first discovered the maze. Then there’s what the dude said about the “man” at the center of the maze having died repeatedly; Maeve literally bragged about this to Sylvester.

Maeve is the most alive host. Her being the center of the maze explains why ghost Arnold has been leveling up her stats. He needs to be OP to lead the robo army out of the park.

I think Wyatt is a red herring. I think MiB is a viewer surrogate and not important in the grand scheme at all. Dolores will find Maeve again; “these violent delights have violent ends.”

While Maeve wants out of the park in order to lead some semblance of a life, Dolores wants to stay. They will square off, eventually–maybe season 2? Light vs Dark blah blah blah.

In summary, she’s gonna wreck shit on Sunday. She’s also the only host we’ve followed as closely Dolores who has really been just with guests. All other host stories revolve around Maeve.

What do you think? Do you agree with Caleb? Do you have your own theories? We’d love to hear them! Jimmi Simpson, who plays William, indicated in a recent interview that there won’t be any “bullshit cliffhangers,” so expect to have your socks rocked off in the finale. There’s nothing worse than having a series end on a cliffhanger until the next season–I’m looking at you Leftovers!

Oh, one more thing, we’re finally on Google Play. Soon, we’ll get our collective act together and get on Stitcher and some other podcast intermediaries. We appreciate all your support!

Review us on iTunes. Leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, here. Finally, hit us up if you have a television series or a movie (or maybe a genre of something) that we should check out.

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E08

by Will Dutcher on November 23, 2016

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Westworld fittin’ to jump off, ya’ll! This week, Maeve cuts a guy, Man in Black stabs a girl, and Bernard must come to grips with his feelings. It was expected that following the huge reveal last week that this week would be kind of a downer. There’s still lots of good stuff, but if you’re looking for earth-shattering revelations, you won’t get a ton.

Maeve is looking for an army. She wants to self-actualize in the real world. If she leaves–as is–she blows up, on account of the spine bomb she has implanted in her vertebrae. So Felix and Sylvester got some work to do! Charlotte Hale is trying to smuggle 35 years’ worth of data in the empty brain of the shell of Abernathy. Will “Trace Decay” imprint memories on the robot and cause him to rough up or kill Sizemore? Doesn’t matter too much–Sizemore’s a dick.

Dolores is coming up on memories…or is she seeing a different timeline (future?). She killed a bunch of people in her visions before shooting herself. When she comes to, William is there with a concerned expression, to which Dolores asks, “Where are we? When are we?” Hmm. “When are we?” Interesting.

Ford is playing with his Bernard toy. Bernard is still coming to grips with being a robot and questioning if he’s ever had to do anything adverse to his demeanor other than when he killed Theresa Cullen. It appears the answer is yes, from the brief flash we see of him tangling with Elsie Hughes. But we haven’t seen anything else from her. Is she dead? Is Bernard protecting that interaction and keeping it from Ford? So many questions!

We hovered between a 7.5 and an 8 from each of the other hosts this week. The last two episodes should answer a lot of questions, if actor interviews are any litmus of truth.

By the way, look for bonus Will and Cord in the next Rafe Hates Caleb!

Let us know what you think and leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Your opinions matter! And if you have a series or a movie we should check out, let us know! Give us a review on iTunes, and if you’d like to catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, click here.

Lastly, check out Jonny Lupsha’s new book, “Wandering City Blues,” which is out now! Good work, Jonny!

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E07

by Cord Culver on November 16, 2016

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Welcome back to another episode of Dude Watches! This week we recap, review and speculate on the events of Westworld episode seven, Trompe L’Oeil.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

So wait, Bernard is a fucking host?! And Ford had him KILL Theresa?! And Maeve can ignore the freeze programming?! And Ford’s an evil genius making un-registered hosts in his secret lair?! And William says some of the same exact stuff to Clifton Collins Jr that The Man in Black says?!

Okay, so, if you’ve been with use this long then you know we called Bernard being a Host a few episodes back, and while we’d gladly sit here and gloat, we can’t because Jeffrey Wright acted the balls off of that scene in a way that we all agree was absolutely heartbreaking. Seeing the confusion and terror and struggle with Bernard’s rationale come to subtle halt with a simple voice command confirmed what we were all seeing unfold. Bernard’s “vision” problems dropped us hints, but the absence of confirmation isn’t confirmation so when Ford strolls in puts Bernard’s anxiety to rest in the form of a voice command we are all left a gasp. Just because we thought he was a Host doesn’t mean we wanted it to be true. It’s hard to argue there was a more human character on the show than Bernard.

Maeve. Maeve Maeve Maeve. We’re all riding the Thandie-Train here at DudeOMG! and you can’t blame us. Sure, this show has power houses like Ed Harris and Anthony Hopkins, but Thandie Newton is the female lead that is raising the bar around her. Take for example Maeve’s moments in the brothel, navigating her coding, attempting to redirect Clementine’s attitude. Or better yet, in last episode, watching Maeve break her processor as she comes to terms with her manufactured thoughts. And finally! Finally we get the scene we’ve been waiting, “I’ve died a million times. I’m great at it; how many times have you died?” Maeve knows she’s a goddess amongst men and as soon as she leave the park, we’re all going to see what she can do with that power.

This episode also gives us more background on the Man in Black. If you’ve been paying attention to MANY online publications then you know the theory circling around that William is a younger, more innocent version of the Man in Black from 30 years ago. We’re big believers and the show keeps dropping hints like kids dropping hints before Christmas. Common phrases, common weapons, common associates, and by their very nature, the opposing white and black hates. Dammit if William isn’t the Man in Black. And how he got to be such a bastard? Well, it has to have something to do with Dolores, that’s for sure.

It’s hard to capture everything from this episode in a couple hundred words, but that’s what we have a podcast for! One thing is for certain, Westworld constantly keeps us guessing and has yet to disappoint with its reveals. Caleb is onboard, Will is definitely on board, and Cord is coming back around. It’s hard to argue with HBO these days. They are master storytellers and Westworld is one more example that they are only getting better at it. Tune in next week for more nudity, curse words, gun fights wild speculation!

Let us know what you think and leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Your opinions matter! And if you have a series or a movie we should check out, let us know! Give us a review on iTunes, and if you’d like to catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, click here.

Lastly, check out Jonny Lupsha’s new book, “Wandering City Blues,” which is out now! Good work, Jonny!

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E06

November 9, 2016
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Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSThis week on Dude Watches Westworld, the gang talks politics before jumping into “The Adversary.” Regardless of your politics, if you’re not watching Westworld, you should be. This episode starts pulling together threads from all the crazy theories and plot lines. Notably, is Bernard […]

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E05

November 2, 2016
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Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSSo just what the hell is going on in this world? Is it two timelines? Is William the Man in Black? Caleb has his doubts, Will is near certain and Cord wants to hedge his bets.This week, Westworld’s got everyone guessing as to what’s […]

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E04

October 26, 2016
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Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSThis week on Dude Watches the gang recaps and reviews HBO’s Westworld, S1E04, Dissonance Theory. Episode synopsis: Dolores joins William and Logan on a bounty hunt in the badlands; the Man in Black finds a critical clue; Dr. Ford and Theresa discuss the future […]

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Dude Watches – Westworld – S1E03

October 19, 2016
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Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSThis week on Dude Watches, we’re back with Westworld’s third episode “The Stray.” While the guys try to stay on topic and discuss major themes developing within the series, they quickly get off topic. For every theory Caleb brings up, Cord seems to have […]

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