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Dude Watches – Tango & Cash

by Will Dutcher on September 21, 2016

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This week, we finish out our buddy movie picks with the 1989 bomb, Tango & Cash. It stars Kurt Russel (Gabriel Cash) in his action star prime, and a clean-cut Sylvester Stallone (Ray Tango). The plot focuses on a non-nonsensical Jack Palance and his aim to slowly destroy our hero cops. Action and bad-acting ensue, along with with some huge jaws, a ponytail, and a slinky. The end result is a blown up crime-lord, executed ne’er-do-wells, and a now-dysfunctional rock quarry.

This movie has its issues, to be very clear. The acting is bad, in many parts, from the stars to the extras. The directing of this movie is legendary, as it went through multiple angles with multiple ideas of how this movie should be. Stallone wanted it to be a serious action flick while Jon Peters (producer) wanted it to be ‘campier.’ The editing of this movie is a clear mish-mash of both ideals as the attempts to be serious fall flat, while the goofiness goes a little rigid.

First of all, the characters of this movie are also so bad they’re good! There are baddies such as “The Jaw,” the Aussie (or is he English?) Requin, and the wholly unnecessary Quan and Lopez. There are support characters like Michael Jeter’s Skinner, Clint Howard’s “Slinky” and Michael J. Pollard’s Owen. Our stars, Tango, Cash, and Yves Perret are caricatures of what unhinged cops and crazy bad guy bosses are. From the one-liners to the Kurt-Russel-in-drag to the questionable prison protocols, this movie is off the rails–and I enjoyed it!

We get into some other bad movie tropes and actors from the era and compare this movie to some other movies of that time. Movies like Hard TargetRobocop, etc. can draw some comparisons because while they’re different movies, they share that camp that isn’t directly intended, but comes across in thick layers when they mean to be serious.

In summary, this movie attempts to inject humor in-betwixt action scenes, and it’s all late 80s awesome. If you enjoyed action movies from the late 80s and early 90s, you may like this. Or you may be like Caleb and Cord and give it at best a middling score. But you can’t come away from this movie without feeling extremely for or against this movie. There’s so much bad stuff that sticks with you that you can’t help but recall it with laughter or admiration.

Stay with us for next week’s movie, because we discuss another one of Will’s movie picks, Diggstown, starring James Woods and Louis Gosset, Jr. This is probably going to be my favorite movie in the last couple months!

Let us know what you think and leave a comment below or on our Facebook page. Your opinions matter! And if you have a series or a movie we should check out, let us know! Give us a review on iTunes, and if you’d like to catch up on our other episodes of Dude Watches, including Seasons 1 and 2 of The Leftovers, click here.

Caleb (@OriginalCaleb) (rafehatescaleb.com)

Cord (@TooFewWhales)

Will (@Ramtrap)

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